I’m back. I haven’t been anywhere exactly but I have travelled far.
The last few months have probably been the most physically demanding & mentally challenging I have experienced, maybe even in my life. I’m not someone who glorifies struggle by sharing everything & I’ve needed space to assimilate the massive shifts we’ve been going through. It’s been quite a journey.
The vision: to move out from the studios.
The challenge: retaining a sense of peace, ease & grace whilst dancing with demons.
Each day was a test of resolve. Chaos and overwhelm was systematically packed it into boxes of order. All the while, demons pranced; arched necks, feathers raised, beaks & spurs ready to draw blood.
The real demons? Fear, mistrust and uncertainty! The bully fearful of being bullied perpetuating the cycle of suffering; the desire to flow vs conforming to other people’s unrealistic expectations; the willingness to oblige & offer help parrying with a belief that everyone is obstinately obstructive & difficult; moral & ethical obligations to pay one’s dues sparring with greed & a terror of scarcity.
It is the pattern of centuries. From generation to generation, one clan battling with another, neighbours railing at each others’ transgressions & the demands of those who diminish boundaries & borders delineating the sanctuary of personal space. We must break the cycle.
I would breathe into each moment. They were only emails. Pixels on a screen. There’s an irony that we were leaving the building I described as ‘a sanctuary for the homeless & dispossessed’.
Despite the tumultuous displays we are triumphant.
I’ve achieved far more than even I thought possible. I am stronger than I was before. My resilience has been tested. By focusing on the tiniest glimmers of hope, certainty was created. The tiniest glimmers of light grow & shine the way to a more magnificent existence and joy beckons!